Things I Will Never Make Again


I have been protecting a recipe for Italian Fig Cookies for a few years now. I love figs. Love them.

I could not resist a big bag of dried figs at Costco last month, so these cookies got put on the burner to make again. Actually, the recipe is called St. Joseph’s Fig Cookies. I saw Lidia Bastianich demonstrate them one year on her PBS show and she of course sold them as the most tasty and authentic little Sicilian cookies ever. It just took me a couple of years to get around to it.

O. M. G. What a mess! Remember how I devised a way to make truffles without touching them? That’s because I can’t stand having dough and sticky on my hands. Eeek. So uncomfortable, not to mention unsanitary. Impossible with these. The dough is sticky and must be rolled between parchment (omen #1), and the filling of fig is sticky and has to be rolled into a log (omen#2). I swear I read through the recipe, but for some reason I totally missed the omens.


At least they taste fabulous. (Even saved back a dozen in the freezer to be enjoyed later).

I am just saying I will buy them from an Italian bakery from now on. I have a feeling Lidia will too because the recipe that I printed in December of 2012 is not on her website anymore. Just saying.

It reminds me of a recent episode of America’s Test Kitchen where they demonstrated the proper way to make baguettes. Yeah, I get that they are complete-anal-retentive-catholic-school-nuns about how to do things right, but usually, I can get on board. But not with this. Ridiculous amount of idiotic details for the home cook. The exact reason that the French don’t even make their own baguettes; they buy them at the bakery on the way home from work. Smart. Very smart.

Some things are better left to the professionals.

What’s yours? Anything you suffered to make and now will never do again? Tell me in the comments.


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  • Jillian January 5, 2016 at 9:37 am

    Ground turkey lettuce wraps. Threw the recipe away. Usually when I make something new, I learn a few things (ex: more salt next time, smaller chunks of meat, cook longer etc.) to make it better for the next time I make it. Once I’ve made it a few times, the recipe is more of a guide than a rule book since I make so many tweaks.

    Never have I ever made anything that was totally unsalvageable. Even my garbage disposal husband hated it. I was mortified, especially after I ended up throwing away all those wasted ingredients! I know ground turkey is tricky since it can be so bland, but this wasn’t bland. It was repulsive.

  • Jillian January 5, 2016 at 9:48 am

    Now that I’m thinking about things I slaved over, gnocchi is definitely on the list. Delicious little things, but dang it if they didn’t take all day! Now I just buy from the farmers’ market instead. Baklava is up there, too. All those pesky layers.

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